Life Summer and Whatever
Jul. 23rd, 2008 12:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hopenightWhenever I join one of these sites people never notice me. Amazingly I am fine with that fact. If you do well then congratulations and salutations and all that crap. It's nearly one in the morning and I am just amazingly bored out of my skull. Of course it is summer and I should be celebrating and what not. I just don't have wild partiers for friends. Which would never suit me of course but still...Ah well I have no clue what the hell I am going on anyway. I still have to write another chapter of fanfiction in order to get a good chunk of my story done by summer's end. Then I have to finish reading the cursed summer reading and find some way to let myself mourn my mother in peace (who has been dead for four years this August third).
It still stings because I was close to my mom you know? I loved her more than anything. My dad and I are closer now because of it. It just hurts me that my dad and I couldn't be closer while mom was alive. But if I dwell on the past then I will be lost in it forever more really. That is one thing that I never want to happen ever. Besides the fact that one of my friends is driving me crazy and that I refuse to talk to another friend. The one I refuse to talk to has been a bitch to me since we met. She used me time and time again and made me feel terrible about things that I could never control. That includes moving up to where I am now. The worst part is that she doesn't get it! I don't want to talk to her ever again!!! I mean whoever you are that is reading this. You understand right? Feeling like you are being driven insane by someone you think that you love but you know that they are hurting you. Boy was she hurting me. She made me feel bad about every little thing I said or did. I had to sit and listen to her stories but she wouldn't to mine...Well I should really stop whining.
Other than her I have a rather spectacular group of friends who I love dearly. I kinda want a boyfriend but I do not really want anything serious. I mean it is nice to dream but sometimes dreams elevate expectations. Love though would be nice to try some day. Do any of you agree? Well that's it really. Sorry if this was boring to anyone who tried to read it.
It still stings because I was close to my mom you know? I loved her more than anything. My dad and I are closer now because of it. It just hurts me that my dad and I couldn't be closer while mom was alive. But if I dwell on the past then I will be lost in it forever more really. That is one thing that I never want to happen ever. Besides the fact that one of my friends is driving me crazy and that I refuse to talk to another friend. The one I refuse to talk to has been a bitch to me since we met. She used me time and time again and made me feel terrible about things that I could never control. That includes moving up to where I am now. The worst part is that she doesn't get it! I don't want to talk to her ever again!!! I mean whoever you are that is reading this. You understand right? Feeling like you are being driven insane by someone you think that you love but you know that they are hurting you. Boy was she hurting me. She made me feel bad about every little thing I said or did. I had to sit and listen to her stories but she wouldn't to mine...Well I should really stop whining.
Other than her I have a rather spectacular group of friends who I love dearly. I kinda want a boyfriend but I do not really want anything serious. I mean it is nice to dream but sometimes dreams elevate expectations. Love though would be nice to try some day. Do any of you agree? Well that's it really. Sorry if this was boring to anyone who tried to read it.
