Doubts of the Heart
Oct. 24th, 2009 12:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hopenightTitle: Doubts of the Heart
Author: hopenight
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Merlin/Sweets
Word Count: 1, 032
Warning: mentions of sex
Fandom(s): Merlin, Bones
Summary: Merlin has news for Sweets. He's not certain if its good or bad.
A/N: Told you I would be quick.
Sweets sat on the balcony of the Jeffersonian looking over a case file for Brennan and Booth. He almost had a profile put together of the attacker.
“How’s it going, Sweets?” asked Hodgins.
“Alright,” said the psychiatrist offhandedly. He flicked through the crime scene photos again. Halfway through the photos he paused, “Actually do you have the time? I left my watch at home this morning.”
“Um sure it’s a quarter to eight.”
“Shit! Is that really the time?!”
“No I’m just pulling your chain because it amuses me.”
Sweets gave Hodgins a long hard stare.
“True, yes it is really that late.”
The younger of the two scribbled down a couple extra notes.
“Do you think that Cam would let me get changed here? I have to meet Merlin in a couple minutes.”
“Well I wouldn’t see why not. A special occasion with your new conquest?”
“I don’t know. He texted me earlier and told me that he had some big news. He wanted to tell me over dinner.”
“Oh.”
Sweets froze in mid hurried step.
“What do you mean by oh?”
“Well it usually means one of two things.”
“And that is?”
“Either he wants things to move up to the next level or…”
“Or?”
“He wants to break up with you.”
Sweets could feel his heart drop to his feet. He looked down at his shoes.
“Oh.”
“It probably isn’t that.”
“No. No. Um I need to get changed…”
Sweets hurriedly gathered the case notes and left. He hoped the Hodgins’ didn’t spy the anxious look on his face.
Merlin loved him.
Right?
Of course he did. Merlin told him this morning. And last night he knew that Merlin loved him.
However, he loved Arthur more. A lot more enough to wait for him for years and years.
Oh God what if Arthur was reborn? And found Merlin? What if he wanted to take Merlin away from him?
Was Merlin really his for Arthur to take? Or was he Arthur’s that he had stolen?
Maybe Merlin was never his to take and give at all.
After all they never even had sex because he wasn’t ready yet.
Because he wanted to take this slow.
In his experience sex always led to a whole host of other issues. Usually this was led by woman leaving him.
He really wanted this to work with Merlin…
But if Arthur was back…then he who was he to stand in the way of true love?
No one apparently…
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Merlin was at a small Italian bistro near his store. He stood up when he saw Sweets enter and pulled back his chair. A gentle kiss on the lips was what was shared between them before he sat down. Sweets took a moment to savor Merlin, memorize him just in case. He took in the nice black sweater, the pale blue skinny jeans, the rainbow Converse, and the emerald green spikes.
He finally took in the eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes that sparkled mischievously.
“So I ordered us some wine and there’s bread on the way.”
“Sounds good.”
“Is everything alright, Lance? You seem nervous?”
“Just excited to hear the news,” lied Sweets easily.
“Well then I won’t keep you in suspense! So I got a call today from a publisher. They want to talk about optioning my book!”
Suddenly Sweets feels really stupid. And about three inches high. Possibly smaller.
“That’s great!” answers the doctor with the enthusiasm that he feels.
“So what had you all worried?”
“It’s stupid. I don’t want to get into a fight.”
“Tell me, Lance. I promise that I won’t be mad.”
So Sweets tells Merlin about Hodgins, his fears, and all the thoughts in his head. When he’s done the waitress had taken their orders and they both had a glass of wine.
“I’m so sorry that I doubted you.”
“It’s alright. I understand. Many people have doubted me because of Arthur. At least you were honest about it.”
Sweets nodded.
“Lance, there is something that you and I have that I will never have with Arthur.”
“What?”
“I love Arthur despite all his shortcomings and hero complex. I can never stop loving him like that. Never. However it was destiny that proclaimed it so. I will never know that if it was destiny’s inevitability or just me that let Arthur fall in love me with. I am the one who has to lead him to his predetermined path. I am not sure if we choose to love each other or destiny willed it so. I like to believe that we can make choices that shape our destiny not destiny that shapes our choices. Still with Arthur it’s hard to tell.”
“I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
“I love you, Lance Sweets, because I want to love you. It’s my choice to pursue you with eyes of love. You are a funny, sweet, kind, gentle, absolutely bloody brilliant, amazing, very cool man. I love you with all the love that I can give. I’m old and I’m broken. But you look at me like I’m the only one you will ever need, desire. You look at me like that every time you see me. Not even Arthur could do that.”
Sweets stared at Merlin before leaning over the table and kissing him.
“I’m ready.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Let’s go.”
They left money for the waitress and went to Lance’s home.
--------------------------------------------------------------
They made love.
And they both glowed golden in the light of magic and Cupid dust. They made love in the air and on the bed. They were no longer who they once were before this moment. This is the point of no return. The cliff in which to jump off. The leap of blind of faith…And they trust to land in the other’s arms. The stars, crystal kisses of the Sun and Moon, shone on the lovers.
It was teasing and serious.
It was slow and all too fast.
It was passionate and playful.
It was fire and ice.
It was beauty and desire.
It was light.
It was love.
It was close enough to destiny.
The best kind of destiny…
The one that we choose to make.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-10-24 10:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-25 12:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-24 11:31 am (UTC)That was just perfect :)
no subject
Date: 2009-10-25 12:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-24 02:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-25 12:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-24 04:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-25 12:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-26 03:46 pm (UTC)"I love Arthur despite all his shortcomings and hero complex. I can never stop loving him like that. Never. However it was destiny that proclaimed it so. I will never know that if it was destiny’s inevitability or just me that let Arthur fall in love me with. I am the one who has to lead him to his predetermined path. I am not sure if we choose to love each other or destiny willed it so. I like to believe that we can make choices that shape our destiny not destiny that shapes our choices. Still with Arthur it’s hard to tell.”"
Wonderful. Awesome. I totally believe now, how it is possible for Merlin to love Lance. Matter of free will, no doubts regarding whether the love was result of destiny or their own choice.
You almost made me cry;)
no subject
Date: 2009-10-27 04:51 am (UTC)That was how I always looked at it in fanfictions. Arthur/Merlin is soulmate but are they that because they choose or was it Destiny's doing? I can so imagine Merlin having those thoughts during his millenia of life.
I was quoted! That's so cool! Glad you enjoyed it.
no subject
Date: 2009-10-28 07:48 am (UTC)You are worth quoting. As I mentioned in first post, you have very interesting style, full of unexpected gems of language, luring in deceptively calm stream of narration.:)
no subject
Date: 2009-10-29 04:26 am (UTC)I am glad you think my style is interesting. I'll keep that in my mind as I go through getting my degree in English. :) Ah living the dream...now all I need to do is get into my number one choice for college. Then I'll be good.