Dividing Day

[hopenight]

Title: Dividing Day
Author: hopenight
Beta: runriggers
Characters: Doctor Spencer Reid (The Doctor), Jennifer "J.J." Jereau, Aaron Hotchner
Series: Alien!Spencer Verse
Warnings: crossover
Rating: PG-13
Word Count:
Series Summary: There’s more to Doctor Spencer Reid then people think. A lot more. The question is that are the BAU ready to find out?
Summary: Reid knew that someone (other than J.J.) would find out sooner. However, he would take just about anyone else other than him.

 

Three things cannot stay hidden long: the sun, the moon, and the truth.” –Buddha

Hotch knows.

He knows that Hotch knows.

Doctor Spencer Reid knew that someone would find out about him. Counting off the days until zero day was hard because for a little while he could pretend that he was human. He could pretend that he did not have a spaceship that could fly through time and space. Even with J.J. knowing the truth about him, she did not treat him any differently. However, he knew Aaron Hotchner.

He knew because Hotch would stare at him like he was surprised that he existed. When their hands would brush for a case file, Hotch would draw his hand back quickly. When they were alone, he would open his mouth like he wanted to ask something but then thought better of it. Reid knew that Hotch knew. Soon, he realized that this charade would end completely. It saddened him.

He relished being Spencer Reid. The weight of the world was on his shoulders still but it was not a burden. There were people around him to relieve the pressure.

For over nine hundred years, he was Atlas separating the sky from the earth. He kept the Earth safe because he loved the human race. He loved how they got angry and happy and sad. Beautiful and chaotic almost like himself. He was so distant from his race. He was a freak. He was a genius, even in a race of geniuses, who wanted to help other beings even if he did anger his own species.

They couldn’t see. They could watch. But they couldn’t experience because they saw themselves as better than everything and anything else. He didn’t. He couldn’t see himself as better when there were so much out there. Terrible and fantastic is what the universe remains to him. When he saw an opportunity to travel throughout the universe and time he took it. He ran with it.

Even now he still doesn’t regret the choice. He never glanced back.

He doesn’t regret taking off and meeting people and saving the universe and falling in love with the human race (even with all he has seen in the B.A.U.). He could never regret it because he relished the raw emotion, the protection, the desire to change in order to better their lives.

The human race was so much better than the Time Lords in so many ways.

He did regret some things. He regrets not telling his team about himself. He hated the lies. Though he was grateful for J.J., the best friend he’s had since Donna. She knows about him and that made all the difference in the world.

Though he had a feeling the rest of the team would know soon enough.

He marked the date off on the calendar and made it a day of change. It would be the day that his completely human ruse would be at an end. He was beginning to think that he definitely has masochistic tendencies. He goes chasing after situations that could only end in his hearts being broken. And he knows that these people hold his hearts in their hands. They could rip them to shreds very easily.

J.J. didn’t and he is eternally grateful to that.

Of course their level of rejection would inspire different levels of reactions.

He has a feeling that Prentiss suspects that he’s not fully human. Being a child of an ambassador would allow her to be privy as to what UNIT is. He knows that she knows the level of deference the UNIT soldiers give to him is not normal. He has known her long enough that she could squeeze his hearts between her thin fingers and make him feel pain. If circumstance had been different, he would have convinced her to come with him, to see the stars. She would probably decline, most high profile companions do.

She still wouldn’t break his hearts when she found out.

Rossi…Reid has had some great talks with him. He thinks that he’s brilliant. Even companion worthy, though he never seems to get older companions, he had traveled in the past to look at the founding member of the B.A.U. in his early years. Too ambitious for him to allow in the TARDIS…he distrusted some forms of ambition. Rossi hasn’t yet found a place in his world. He shifted like wind does with sand.

Rossi wouldn’t hurt him too badly emotionally.

Garcia is Garcia. She is brilliant and vibrant and beautiful and bold. Oh! Had circumstances been different then he would snatch her up in a second! He would not take no for an answer. He would show her the universe: the vibrant flowers of Juang One, the lovely spas of the Nuntax Galaxy (as close to paradise as you could get!), the evolution of technology through millennia. He would give her all of time and space if she asked him. He knows her heart. How she tries to keep her humanity. She would definitely help him keep his.

If she rejected him, he knew that his hearts would break.

Then there is Morgan. Reid hasn’t seen anyone like a brother in centuries. Morgan would be the one that he takes on adventures. He would thrive under the danger his previous incarnations would find themselves in normally. He could see Morgan running as fire fell from the skies to save the day. He would be worshipped as a hero, as a champion on some worlds. Reid could picture it perfectly. He can see Morgan in awe of the worlds and in awe of how they helped these people. Yet he would be able to ground him, to stop him if he went too far. He would be able to treat him as he would treat anyone else.

Morgan rejecting him would be like someone ripping his still beating hearts from his chest.

Hotch is in a category all his own. Few people, especially males, have made his hearts go into double time like Aaron Hotchner does. Only one other male has made his palms sweat, his mind race, and allow him to go so totally dizzy with a swell of emotion that he is very certain this is close to love (The only females were his wife and Rose). That was the Master back when he was less...Master-like. (Insane doesn’t even begin to cover that man.) He is not entirely sure of the draw of Hotchner. Maybe he just will always love people that can never truly be his. Still underneath the hard ass exterior, the shield he wraps around himself is a genuine, warm, kind human being. A dedicated man to his job, to his team, and to his son, Reid knows that he would move mountains for those he truly cares about. He cannot help but be attracted to that.

If Hotch hates him for it, then Reid won’t have a plan or some sort of magical solution. He may just run and force regenerate. He may just close himself off. He may just leave with no warning like Elle. Maybe Aaron Hotchner is his last chance to find some semblance of happiness in his life. Maybe Hotch represents a chance for a stable relationship.

Aaron Hotchner holds his hearts fully in his hands. If he rejects him, then they would just wither and die. He’s been hurt too many times for that not to happen.

These people could be his last chance for a family. All he wanted was a family again.

Reid sighed biting his lip. Maybe he was being a little melodramatic, but take a look at his track record, he probably has the right to be.

He tapped his pencil against his desk concentrating on the files before him while keeping an ear out for Hotch asking him to come into his office. Today is zero day. He has a feeling that it this would be the day when Hotch would finally ask him. He had given J.J. a heads up to let her know that he may not be in work the next day dropping by her office earlier. He let his mind drift back to their conversation.

“I think that he wouldn’t kick you off the team, Reid. Just explain it to him, he’ll understand. Unless…Oh! You like him don’t you?” asked the blonde curiously with a wicked grin. Reid is sprawled out on what J.J. has dubbed his chair in her office. A book propped up on his knees is being flicked through a lightning speed.

Reid flushed a bright, burning red. J.J. laughed lightly.

“Just tell him the truth. You’re still Spencer Reid right?”

Reid paused, trying to finger out how to answer the question.

“Remember when I told you about this little trick that I have when I’m really close to death?”

“Yes, you told me about it. Um regeneration right?”

 “There were ten others before me. All of them are a part of me. I have the same memories. I have the same past experiences. The body and the quirks of personality change, how I react to situations changes but I am fundamentally the same man. When regeneration occurs…it’s the like my outlook is regenerated. It’s turned into something new. I appreciate different things but I still feel that need to help, to protect, to explore. I don’t know how I can explain to Hotch that I lived ten separate lives in fundamentally different bodies, as different men.”

J.J. paused for a moment. She absently brushed back a piece of her blonde hair.

“I think you should give Hotch more credit. You estimate that he’s known for two weeks now?”

“Yep.”

“Well if he hated you for it then he would have said something sooner.”

Reid paused never thinking about it before smiling.

“You’re right J.J.”

“Of course I’m right, Spaceman.”

He smiled fondly, thinking of red hair and a booming laugh.

“One day, J.J., I promise that I will show the stars.”

J.J. grinned widely. Her eyes were bright imagining an adventure through time and space with her friend guiding her.

“I would really like that, Spence.”

“Me too, J.J., me too. I hope one day soon that I can take everyone up in the sky.”

“I hope so too, Spence.”

Reid smiled, small but true, at her. He turned his eyes back to the battered book before him. He ran a hand through his hair quickly mussing it up as he was absorbed in what he was reading.

“Reid,” said the deep, smooth voice of Aaron Hotchner snapping Reid out of his reverie. He was suddenly back in the bullpen with a file opened before him.

His hearts sped up: a little in fear and a little in excitement at the sound of his superior officer’s voice. He could hear the double beats pound in his ears. This was it.

“Could I see you in my office?” asked Hotch. Reid looked up and nodded.

“Sure,” said the alien as he got up and followed his superior to his office. He took a seat at one of the free chairs near Hotch’s desk. He heard the door close behind the dark haired man.

He folded his hands in his lap trying to stop the nervous shaking. Hotch slowly sat down at the desk.

Their eyes met and gazes were held for several moments.

Hotch leaned forward in his chair. Reid gulped as the other man said the words that he had been dreading and anticipating for a long time.

“I know what you are.”

Reid closed his eyes tightly before saying.

“I can explain.”

And he could just as soon as his stomach stopped churning.

“Where are we going? Do not ask! Ascend, descend. There is no beginning and no end. Only this present moment exists, full of bitterness, full of sweetness, and I rejoice in it all.” -Nikos Kazantzakis
 

 

Comments

[emzbuckley.livejournal.com]

Please tell me you have written the next part and are posting it soon! I really need to know hotch's reaction to him being the doctor. Great part though!

[hopenight.livejournal.com]

Yes I'm writing the next part. :) I'm glad that you enjoyed it!

[zinnamom.livejournal.com]

I think this series is the best crossover between CM and DW I've ever come across. I'm very curious about the reactions of the rest of the team and can hardly wait for the next part.

[longbca.livejournal.com]

Lovely

[gail19.livejournal.com]

Oh wow.

I'll have to come back sometime when I can be more coherent, but for now - this is totally amazing.